Back to work or daycare: boundaries, expectations, and help you’ll actually accept

Returning to work after postpartum period is an emotional transition, not just a logistical one. Setting clear boundaries, managing your own expectations, and learning to accept the right kind of help can help you navigate this new chapter with more peace and less guilt.

A frequent source of stress is the immense guilt and anxiety that can accompany this change. You might worry that you're not doing enough at work or at home, leading to burnout as you try to be a perfect employee and a perfect parent. The key is to protect your own well-being with intention.

First of all, set clear boundaries. Boundaries are essential for protecting your time and energy. This means being realistic about your work hours and communicating them clearly. When you are home, try to be fully present with your family, and when you are at work, focus on your tasks. It also means setting boundaries with others. It is okay to say "no" to extra social or personal commitments during this demanding transition period.

Secondly, adjust your expectations. It is not realistic to expect to perform at 100% capacity in all areas of your life right now. Give yourself grace. Your productivity at work may dip temporarily. Your home may be less tidy. Acknowledging and accepting that "good enough" is the new standard is a powerful act of self-compassion. The pressure for perfection is the enemy of a peaceful transition.

Finally, accept help you will actually use. People will offer to help, but it's crucial to ask for what you truly need. Vague offers are hard for people to act on. Instead of just saying "thank you", try being specific: "Thank you, what would be amazing is if you could drop off a simple meal on Tuesday night", or "I would love it if you could watch the baby for an hour on Saturday so I can run errands alone". For people who genuinely want to help, it is easier for them to support you in a meaningful way by giving them a concrete task.

Remember that feelings of guilt or sadness are normal. Acknowledge them, but also remind yourself that you are modelling a healthy, full life for your child.

A gentle reminder: The content in this article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your pediatrician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you are facing a problem that feels sharp, persistent, or overwhelming, reaching out for professional help is a sign of strength.